It's all relative..

The difference between me and the other departments is that i don't quite see things the way they do... Let me list it:

1. "40% chance of survival IF he gets over the sepsis + IF he survives the chemo" does NOT sound like "good prognosis" to me.

2. Intubating a patient who has been having a crap quality of life ever since his stroke.
Why? So he can live on as a vegetable on a tracheostomy (cos Heaven knows it's not ethically correct to remove the ETT once it's in. It's like a ball valve, boleh in, tak boleh out) with feeding through a Ryles Tube (Yum! Ensure on weekdays, and Peptamen on weekends!) and frequent suctioining from all the secretions (Sorry, uncle. If i don't suck it, you will get atelectasis and die. I'm SURE you don't want THAT..) That's not even adding the 3Hly turning that the family (usually the Indonesian maid..) has to do just to reduce (ya, not prevent) bedsores. Joyous.. At least you're helping reduce the patient's stay in Purgatory...

3. Just because a patient is YOUNG (Btw, "young patient" does NOT mean anyone below your age) doesn't mean they have automatic admission to ICU. The kid is still going to die from the lung mets and brain mets. ICU is not Heaven. People don't magically get better when you admit them to ICU ok...

4. "FRACTURE NECK OF FEMUR, 98 years old, heart disease, COPD, previous stroke, bed bound is NOT how the sentence should go... It should be " 98 years old, heart disease, COPD, previous stroke, bed bound, fracture neck of femur" Got it, Mr Munat?! Money is not everything, bodoh... And the only reason you still have a job despite being so useless is cos the government can't fire you. You are akin to a vestigial limb/the snot in the nose of a kid with URTI/the scum that you scrape off the toilet BOWL/H1N1. Try not to irritate me please.

I suspect the problem is that these people are living like this life is the be all, end all. After all, there's so much more AFTER life! You just live the best you can and try to help as many people as you can (not make more people suffer from your "good intentions". Road to hell has enough of that). Sometimes, you just have to step back and ask yourself, if that were ME, would i want to be put through all that? When it's time to go, then go gracefully into the arms of God. It's scary no doubt. I don't know how it will be when i die. But i know Jesus will guide me gently... And Mother Mary will be right beside me if i get scared..

Dear God,

Please help me have the patience to deal with those who irritate me, and help me have the compassion to pray for their keinsafan. Help everyone realise that if we truly love and cherish someone when they're alive, then You will give us the strength to know when to let go..

Amen